A man goes to the police station wanting to speak to the burglar who broke into his house the night before. 'That's not appropriate," he is told. "You can make a witness impact statement in court. That's the proper way to make your point.
'But I don't want to make a point, I just want to ask his advice,' says the man.
'I want to know how he got into our house in the middle of the night without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!'